"And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ."
—Philippians 1:6
It's an odd thing, coincidence. Particularly because I don't believe in it.
In reading last week, I ran across the afore-quoted verse and wrote it down, for no spectacular reason. Days later, I get a card in the mail from Peggy Richardson, a letter of encouragement from a new friend. Phil. 1:6 is the precise verse that she gave and spoke about as an encouragement for me.
She was talking about God's work and will for me as I go to ACU for a Master of Divinity. She's the great-aunt of my best friend, and we met somewhat randomly at dinner after one of his basketball games over spring break. We both got placed at one end of the table, and what I feared might be an awkward dinner turned into one of the more fulfilling conversations of my life.
God surprises us like that, sometimes. Wouldn't you agree?
From Texas, Peggy's also lived 40 years in New York (professing to be a pizza connoisseur) and loves to travel. She is a three-time cancer survivor. Her husband died a few years ago, and she is mere weeks removed from having a pacemaker put into her heart.
Peggy is thankful for all the good that's been given to her, and she regrets none of the pain. She is ecstatic in the Joy that her pain brings (really, that God brings using pain as the vessel) because she knows it was all a part of God breaking her of her stubbornness, softening her heart, and bringing her to depend upon Him and not herself or something else broken.
So she reminds me: even if God has to wreck me, He will complete the work of bringing me to Him, of reconciling me.
"Come, let us return to the Lord;
For he has torn us, that He may heal us;
He has struck us, and He will bind us up...
Let us know; let us press on to know the Lord;
His going out is sure as the dawn;
He will come to us as the showers, as the spring rains that water the earth."
—Hosea 6:1 & 3
Presently, that work is humility. I seek knowledge. I seek truth. I seek to be higher and deeper into Him. And through all my seeking, I am walking along a cliff that drops off into conceit.
Even in my continual study of prayer, to know more about the act and the relationship and what it means and what it looks like, I can over-analyze and over-spiritualize every single thing about it and become inordinately focused—a truth my younger sister knows all too well.
So what does God give me, as encouragement?
Mark Driscoll, talking about the first word of the Lord's Prayer in Luke ("Father"):
"Some of you struggle in prayer because you're too focused on prayer. If you want to grow in prayer, don't focus on prayer—get to know the Father... If you want to learn how to pray, don't look to religious people... Look at children with a father who adores them."
And Jesus Christ of Nazareth:
"Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven."
Children terrify me. I think it's because I was always the awkward, outsider nerd as a child. Or felt that way, at least. I feel like I don't know how to connect with them.
On the flip side, I feel like I may not know how to be a child anymore. So then how can I really pray?
Thinking about Peggy, about her life and the journey it has been, I've been wondering much about my future. And I came to an intriguing question.
What if, as my body gets older and older and closer to death, the goal of God's "ministry of reconciliation" in me is to make my spirit younger and younger, more like a child's that is full of life?
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come."—2 Corinthians 5:17
Because if He is to become more and more my Father, then I have to become more and more a child, His child.
And how can I be conceited about anything then, knowing my weakness and helplessness and vulnerability next to His Love and Will and Power?
I think I can become more of a child by being around children.
I think I can become more of a child by living holy, as God is holy.
I think I can become more of a child by inviting God to BE Father, then see what He does.
2 Cor. 6:16-18
as God said, "I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Therefore go out from their midst, and be separate from them, says the Lord, and touch no unclean thing; then I will welcome you, and I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty."
